D Lip Speaks

On Race and Harvard Law Students

2010-05-07T15:58:00.000-07:00

Heard about the Harvard Law 3L whose email posing the question of whether black people are genetically predisposed to being less intelligent?

Probably not, unless you roll in law student circles or happened to have caught it on some news site. It really is not a particularly compelling story. Wow ... people are racist. As if you couldn't already tell from these guys.

Still, the story was interesting in that it poses an interesting discussion surrounding race and how we think about differences between "races." My friend Dave wrote a blog post for Most Strongly Supported, an LSAT/law student blog that discusses a variety of issues regarding the LSAT, law school, and life.

His post may not have been the most culturally sensitive pieces of writing, but I knew I agreed with what he and many people believed: that the girl really did nothing wrong. Of course, I recognize that she did do something wrong: she linked the issue to race. It is wrong to implicate race in this discussion because it really has no relevance. What is relevant is community.

Below, I've pasted exactly the comment I left on Dave's blog post. After reading up on the story and the issues involved, read my comments below to get my take on what the discussion really boils down to.

---

Two points:

1. Taking all the circumstances into consideration, I really don't think this Harvard 3L meant "race" when she wrote "race." As we all (should) know, race is a social construct. It means nothing. And I'm betting she knows this. Additionally, she really could not have meant to mean "race," given the points made above by A Black Person's Perspective and Rachel. She likely understood all those points. As a consequence, race is really irrelevant to the conversation the HLS 3L wanted to consider.

What is relevant? Something Dave mentioned: "regional, homeland factors," better read as "communities." Race really has no determination of your genetics. What does is mating patterns within communities that leads to sexual reproduction.

I don't think it is unreasonable to assert that reproduction tends to happen within reasonably well-defined, regional communities. What does that mean? That means that certain genes can become more common within a group if the group is likely to have been reproducing within itself for some time.

What does that mean? That means certain groups that reproduce (1) within themselves, and (2) for a long period of time will tend to assimilate a similar set of genes over a significant stretch of time. Thus, you have what is going on with sickle cell anemia. That condition is not linked to blackness in any way, shape, or form. What it is linked to is heritage, back to Africa, where sickle cell anemia was a positive trait, beneficial in fending off malaria.

So why the confusion? Well, black people come from Africa, so your average American thinks that the chain back to Africa for all black people is unbroken. Thus, they connect what is really a community that has reproduced within itself for some time, preserving the prominence with the trait, with "race," which really plays no role in defining any characteristics.

Finally, what does THAT mean? It means communities, when reproducing within itself, will tend to assimilate similar genes into future generations. Meaning that, if black communities have tended to reproduce within themselves all the way back to Africa, many in that community will bring along whatever traits were present back then.

That's why this Harvard girl didn't mean "race" when she said "race."

2. Understand that we are discussing communities and genes that survive into future generations when communities tend to reproduce within themselves, the questions becomes, what genes are we discussing?

This is where the conversation really becomes pointless without peer-reviewed, well-established research that can point to particular genes that have particular effects, and whether or not those genes are prominent within particular communities.

Let's consider an example. We all (should) know that the original man lived in Africa and spread out into the far reaches of our planet. Let's say we understand that all men started with Gene A, which allows your synapses to fire at a particular rate without error. Let's also say that all men are black, defined by Gene C.

Then, several hundreds of thousands of years later, one person, who is a member of the now-established "European" group of people developed a mutation. The mutation affected Gene A, to the point where now, rather than his synapses firing at the normal rate, his synapses can fire at twice that speed. Gene A has become Gene B. At the same time, another individual mutates a gene that changes his skin color. It makes him white. Gene C has become Gene D. Other sections of the planet do not develop either of these mutations, nor any similar mutations.

Several hundreds of thousands of years pass, and Genes A and C have continued to propagate throughout the rest of the world, while from those two men, Genes B and D have propagated throughout the "European" population, to the point where, due to reproduction within the community has been consistent and Genes B and D have been selected for by natural selection.

At that point, aliens come to obtain a sampling of people from across the planet. They take five people - one "European," with Genes B and D, and four others from the rest of the planet with Genes A and C. On the spaceship, the aliens administer equal tests of some sort to all the participants. The "European" performs better on the tests than the others as a result of Gene B's effects.

Now, at this point, is there anything controversial about asserting that genetics has played a role in defining who has more "intelligence"? No, and we really shouldn't. We see a particular gene that defines a particular brain operation within one community that accords a greater ability to complete a given test. There is nothing controversial about that. For that particular activity, the "European" can better complete it due to genes.

At this point, is there anything controversial about asserting that race has played a role in defining performance on the alien test? Yes because race was not a determining factor. The only determining factor was community, which all happened to be of the same skin color.

So, why did I make up this whole example? To show that genetics can define "intelligence" by a particular manner, and that race has no bearing on that "intelligence." But also to show that it is entirely possible that (1) there is a particular gene that exists (2) within particular communities that have reproduced within themselves over an extended time to the point where they are selected for and common within those communities (3) which allow members of that community with those particular genes to perform particular tasks better than others.

Now, faithful reader, I know your final question: what does this all mean? It means that, in the United States, black people from black communities that have reproduced consistently within themselves since being forcibly removed from Africa may have a particular gene that makes them less able to complete tasks that whites from communities that have reproduced consistently within themselves since coming from Europe are able to complete. Unless I am misunderstanding my example or completely mischaracterizing natural selection, this is beyond dispute. It is entirely possible that, within his or her community, a particular person with particular traits can do something particular better than someone else from a different group due to a genetic distinction. This is especially true when you consider that all testing in the United States descends from European models of aptitude testing, which Europeans will likely be better able to complete satisfactorily that individuals from other groups who may be within a particular genetic mutation that makes Europeans good at those tests.

Thus, I'd like to reinforce the larger point here: without scientific evidence of a gene such as this that can be linked to a particular trait that lends a particular ability to complete a particular task (or sort of task), and without a showing that one group carried that gene and one does not, and without a showing that the particular task at issue defines "intelligence," we can never answer this question. Further, given the pervasive impact of culture and organizational power (in the form of government and white dominance in America), it much more likely that nurture has a far more significant impact than nature on "intelligence" among particular reproductive groups.

The moral of the story: race is irrelevant, but community and heritage is not. But it might be of negligible significance in reference of "intelligence," as Europeans have defined it in American culture.

---

Have a comment for me? I'm glad to keep this discussion rolling. I think this discussion offers a perfect opportunity to educate people of how race truly "exists" within the minds of most Americans, and how really those notions harken back to eugenics movements from the turn of the 20th century. It also offers an opportunity for individuals to understand the science behind genetics, and how race plays no determinative role on particular factors.

25 Grams Per Day

2010-03-09T22:26:00.000-08:00

Does this Muscle Milk banner ad below strike anyone else as a bit too ridiculous? Offensive?

I couldn't help but take a screenshot to get your thoughts. Is it no more questionable than other provocative marketing? I'm interested to get your take.

(Btw, don't worry. Digging For Jewelz, Part II is on its way.)

Digging for Jewelz: A Quest (Part I)

2010-03-03T00:51:00.000-08:00

It's not often that we come upon legitimate quests in this day and age.

Never do we feel that adventure, the one that takes you into the depths of mystery and, once you complete the journey, leaves you feeling a sense of pride unlike any other feeling.

Why? Mostly, we are too busy. I know I am. Well, usually, I am. At the moment, I have a quest. One that is undoubtedly worth every minute I spend on it until its completion.

What quest, you ask? It is no easy mission. It will test my patience, my knowledge, and the very foundation of my soul.

The quest is ...

... to settle, once and for all ...

... whether or not this is truly an Allen Iverson song.

It's okay. Take a moment.

...

How did I start this quest? It started a few years ago, when I came across the MP3 file for this song. I don't remember how. But I didn't care. The song is kinda dope. I like that funky bassline, and the flow isn't bad.

But I remember the first time I saw the tag that came with the song. It said Allen Iverson. I said to myself, "Allen Iverson? Really? That must be wrong." I didn't believe it at all. I have heard AI rap, and he sounds like this.

Just in case you are not up on your NBA/hip-hop artists (like this guy), AI had a short-lived career as an emcee. He went by the moniker Jewelz (an odd choice, I always thought), and dropped the track directly above as a single in 2000. He got a lot of heat from NBA Commissioner David Stern and other groups for the violent lyrics. As a result, he chose his hoop hops over hip-hop, and disappeared from the rap game shortly thereafter.

The song directly above is a confirmed Allen Iverson song. I have cross-checked a variety of sources to be sure. But in my humble opinion, the voice from "40 Bars" just does not show up in "Last Night" (the alleged title of the quest-worthy track).

I wasn't convinced. So, with the Internet at my fingertips, I started this quest years ago, furiously trying to transcribe lyrics into Google searches and posting the song onto Web sites for others to guess at the artist.

The efforts proved futile. Until today, I had never been able to track any good leads on the song. I never even found a Web site with a reference to the song. The only reference to an AI rap was "40 Bars." After a while, the fire inside died, and the quest fell to the wayside.

Thus, the quest laid dormant for several years.

Until today, when I had a stroke of genius.

I realized, as I was organizing some of my iTunes Library, "don't you think Shazam would know the song?" The inspiration was invigorating, and I could not help but try.

I went to my old music archive, which I have on DVDs I burned long ago, to redownload the song to my computer. I played it and held my phone close.

The result? No dice. Shazam didn't recognize it. But I had new life to find the true origin of this song. A second wind. The quest was back. And I would not rest until I was satisfied that I had left no stone unturned.

Stay tuned, faithful reader. Part II is on the horizon.

My name is Lipkin, and I am not a terrorist

2010-02-13T18:11:00.000-08:00

Last night, Sara and I went to the Beverly Center 13 to see "My Name Is Khan," an Indian film about one autistic man's journey to meet the President (first Bush, then President-elect Obama) to deliver one line: "My name is Khan, and I am not a terrorist."

Going into the film, I was expecting a specific sort of movie. Sara and I had watched the preview on Apple Trailers, and it looks like a typical heartwarming story with a political subtext. I don't think I could have been more wrong.

This film was amazing. Not because it was well-acted, or because the screenplay was excellent, or because the cinematography was spot on; each of those aspects were good and bad in some respects. No, this film was amazing because it was the Indian Forrest Gump on four different kinds of anabolic steroids while drinking a protein shake and eating a filet mignon just for good measure.

"My Name Is Khan," as I realized throughout the second half of the film, does what Indian cinema does best: melodrama. If you have ever watched a movie and thought it was more over-the-top than anything else you have ever seen, please see this film and see if you still feel the same. This movie was incredible, meaning both that it was amazing and extraordinarily difficult to believe. I was almost in tears of laughter at certain points. It was priceless in so many ways.

But in all my giggles and chortles throughout the second half of the film (the first half actually worked extremely well within typical American movie standards), I realized that I couldn't watch this film with American eyes. By not feigning realism in the slightest, it is unequivocally unapologetic. Its depiction of post-9/11 life for Muslims and other brown people mistaken as Muslims is, in my opinion, entirely overblown, yet the sentiment is so true and earnest. It takes a real concern (racial profiling and racism, generally) and expands that concern to fill wildest fears of the Muslim and South Asia psyche. But as ridiculous as the depiction seemed, the fear of racism was real (at least, I don't think I should take them as anything less than real).

Thus, I had to take a step back from my American criticality to enjoy what is a great film. I let the movie take me on the roller coaster ride it was meant to me. I let my guard down and responded with pure id. And after the movie ended on a wildly positive note, and I was sufficiently soaked in its unabashedly honest idealism, I couldn't help but clap as the end credits began to roll.

To be clear, this film is not simply quality in being over-the-top; it does have some wonderful cinematography and some emotionally resonant moments. But throw those standards out the window before you see this film. Try as best as you can to disassociate yourself from everything you know about movies, and just enjoy every moment of this film. You'll be glad you did.

Googling 101

2010-02-01T19:18:00.000-08:00

Taking a page (post?) out of my friend Zac's Context-Free Conversations blog. For not having posted in a long while, this is something!

Sara: you should put up this pic
http://www.celestinegreen.com/johndsalvo1.jpg
me: hahaha
That would be great
You would support that?
Sara: hahaha
YES
that pic is too small for fbook tho
i'll find a larger one
wow, i really need to turn safesearch back on

Dude (writes almost) like a lady

2009-07-23T16:16:00.000-07:00

I have really enjoyed my visits to Twanalyst, a Web site that analyzes you based on your past 100 tweets. I am a pretty solid tweeter (see for yourself on my Twanalyst page), but I learned that I could also use another product made by Hatmandu, which operates Twanalyst.

This product, called Blogalyser, does basically the same thing, except with your blog, rather than your Twitter account.

So, what else do I need to say? I plugged in my RSS feed URL, and I had my results. But they were a bit more interesting that I thought they would be. Examine:

The Blogalyser reveals...
Your blog/web page text has an overall readability index of 12.
This suggests that your writing style is conventional
(to communicate well you should aim for a figure between 10 and 20).Your blog has 30 sentences per entry, which suggests your general message is distinguished by verbosity
(writing for the web should be concise).
CHARACTER MATRIX

male female
self world
past future

Your text shows characteristics which are 57% male and 43% female
(for more information see the Gender Genie).
Looking at pronoun indicators, you write mainly about yourself, then the world in general and finally your social circle. Also, your writing focuses primarily on the present, next the past and lastly the future.

Find out what your blogging style is like!

Interesting, no? I'm only 57 percent on the male side? That was somewhat surprising. After looking back on the topics I've touched on, I don't really see the femininity so much. I mean, the last five deal with viral marketing, computer hacking, a hip-hop mixtape, a Google product and college basketball. Not that women don't have anything to do with these topics. But I found that interesting, for sure.

The self-obsessed, current events rating wasn't so surprising. I'm pretty much only care about myself and what I'm doing right now (no duh, just read this post). I suppose I can have the virtual equality of masculine/feminine writing be a testament to my own equal treatment of the two most predominant sexes in our race.

How's that for spin?

I'm livin' a movie, not livin' by rules

2009-07-19T10:00:00.000-07:00

For the past two weeks or so, I've been pretty amped for a new movie, called "District 9." The trailers are pretty damn amazing. It is based on a short film by the movie's director, Neill Blomkamp, called "Alive In Joburg" (the short film is only a few minutes long, so I HIGHLY recommend you watch it ... like, now).

The movie is set in Johannesburg, South Africa, and is about aliens who crash(?) to Earth and then are held captive under a new system of apartheid. Seems like it could be a bit hammer-over-the-head on the anti-oppression tip, but, regardless, I'm hooked.

And, like some more recent sci-fi theatrical releases (the "Cloverfield" 1-18-08 site and "Star Trek" "alternate reality game"), they have put a great deal of effort into viral marketing. You may have noticed signs like these on bus stops and buildings, declaring that non-humans are prohibited. Also, the main Web site at D-9.com is pretty well designed, and the links to the other pages make it seem like there really are a variety of organizations working together on this alien containment. I like.

As I was perusing the site and the auxiliary sites, I found that the movie's organizations have Twitter pages. one for Multi-National United (the main, evil company oppressing aliens), and another for MNU Spreads Lies (the reactionary group against MNU).

At first, I'm thinking this is awesome. But I was sorely disappointed. From the "report a non-human" hotline (866-666-6001 [toll-free!]), to the MNU Web site (made for the company in the movie!), almost everything was perfect.

But the Twitter was, as we say, something of an epic fail.

Take a look at the Twitter pages. Notice how almost every single post is almost exactly alike? I sure did. And, by reposting basically the same thing over and over, the D-9 folk managed to totally remove the realness from those pages.

I'm guessing they just didn't want to waste time on that endeavor, but it really killed the viral quality for me. Twitter is such a perfect venue for this kind of thing. If the updates were about a variety of topics, maybe with extra links to other viral pages, it would have maintained a sense of reality (in this case, of an alternate reality). Without that, the whole effect is lost.

You may be able to tell, but I've been so greatly incensed by this error in judgment that, on my first draft of this post, I repeated myself several times about how bad this was, almost as if the Twitter pages have altered my subconscious to do exactly how they do: say the same thing over and over again.

Fortunately, as a real person, I can go back and change my ways. Even if it was a real person hitting post for all the tweets on those pages, the effect was that of a bot, and the movie, subsequently, lost major points in my book.

But, I'll be seeing it for sure. Viral marketing aside, I'm still very excited to see how they tell this story.

How about you? Does the trailer have the same effect on you? And were there other methods of viral marketing you like to see for movies (or any product, for that matter)?

Start with aardvark

2009-06-17T17:42:00.001-07:00

Today, I set up my UC Davis ID(!), and that marks yet one more step I am closer to being a law student. Yes, very exciting, I know. But the process by which I had to set up my account was two parts hilarious, one part annoying.

I set my ID, and then I needed to set my password. But I was going to need to be a bit craftier in my password creation, in order to adhere to the UC Davis rules for password creation. That, reader, was no easy task. According to the rules, one must:

check must be seven (7) or eight (8) characters long
check must contain at least one uppercase letter
check must contain at least one lowercase letter
check must contain at least one numeral (0 through 9)
check must contain at least one punctuation character
check may not contain any spaces
check may not contain the first three characters of your LoginID, first name, middle name, or last name
check may not contain any doublequote ("), ampersand (&), semicolon (;), singlequote ('), or backquote (')

Somewhat comical, if you ask me. But doable, since I have a few select words that make up my passwords, and I could change them slightly to make it work.

Now, on my first attempt, which I thought would work perfectly, I included a word that I am most certain is not in a dictionary. That word? Sophia, the name of my cat (and don't worry - no passwords I use have this word in them, nor do I ever intend to use that word).

But, once I hit "Continue" at the bottom of the page, UC Davis told me this:

The password you selected appears to contain a dictionary word, which makes it too easy to guess.¹ Please return to the previous page and try a different password.

Needless to say, I was a bit taken aback. I mean, I'm all for security. But I have to make up a word to make a password? That seems a tad overprotective.

I finally ended up finding an acceptable password, but it uses something I don't use often. Hopefully, in its attempt to keep me secure, UC Davis doesn't force me into a password that is so hard, even I have a hard time remembering.

1. Bolding added for effect

There's rules to this (stuff), I wrote me a manual

2009-04-12T10:38:00.001-07:00

EDITOR'S NOTE: Hello world! This is my first formal review of any piece of music that has made it into the public eye. I wrote it in response to a call for reviews on FestFans, a Google Group for fans of Rhymefest, an emcee out of Chicago. Many of you readers are probably not hip-hop heads, but if you are down, give it a read and tell me if it sounds okay. It is certainly a sincere review, if nothing else. Anyway, thanks, and enjoy!

What I've always liked about Rhymefest is his candor. He is unabashedly upfront with his feelings and emotions, which has always made him a compelling figure in hip-hop. At any point, when I hear a wack rapper on the radio or on the Internet, I can hear Fest in my ear, talking with that rapper's mother, simply stating, "ma'am, I don't agree with that decision." But from "Blue Collar," his first wide-distributed LP release, to the present day and beyond, Fest is evolving as an artist, and his latest mixtape, "The Manual" (produced by Scram Jones) shows how Fest has really changed, all the while staying the same.

What's changed? For one, his tone. Songs like "Coolness" and several parts of the "Native Tongues Medley" series show a darker, angrier Che, especially with lines like "I wasn't ever homophobic 'til recently ... y'all confusing Internet buzz for love." These, combined with "SuperSonic (Chucky Cheese)," a slight at Charles Hamilton, show a resentment I have yet to see in Fest. For Rhymefest, the Internet is not a good thing, and neither is the evolving status of hip-hop fashion and attitude.

This translates into what seems like a more "serious" vocal range - gone are many of the shouts and continuous yelling that used to make Fest a fun emcee to hear. That's not to say he is no longer entertaining; this new delivery re-emphasizes the importance of his rhymes, forcing listeners to be serious about hearing his music, rather than allowing themselves to blend his usually more melodic voice into the background.

Fest also delves into a spat of homophobia that was entirely absent from anything we've heard him spit before. Personally, it is a bit disconcerting to hear the profuse use of "faggot" in several of the lines, especially when employed to reinforce such a stale construct of masculinity. Very Eminem circa, "The Marshall Mathers LP," meaning that it comes off as immature.

Even so, Fest seems to actually recognize the fact that he is deliberately using slurs, which makes his use of them more complex. At the beginning of "SuperSonic," he includes an audio clip of him being asked, "But why, when you kick the door down, do you have to trample over women and gay people?" His response is, simply, "Who? Did I trample over gay people?" The use of this clip seems to present Fest's argument that he is not hateful toward gay people, nor does he target them specifically. That does not necessarily exonerate him from his new use of anti-gay slurs, but it definitely adds a complexity that listeners should not be too quick to judge. Like I said, this is Rhymefest doing what he does best: being candid with the public. He is not holding back anything, be it prejudice or support for the various enterprises he encounters. This definitely makes for a more intellectually-stimulating hip-hop record.

In terms of the rest of the songs on the mixtape, Rhymefest continues his socially-conscious streak, with "Pulls Me Back," "Exodus 5.1" and "RNQ." All these songs are strong lyrically, with a "Exodus 5.1" employing a steady repetition of questions that really makes for a thought-provoking experience. This track also harkens back to "Bullet," with a seriously provocative set of topics that makes the listeners consider the state of things as they are. "Pulls Me Back" is notable for its use of the "Africa" synth sample for the beat, which, paired with the struggles described by Fest in the song, makes for an interesting expose on Midwest life during this economic depression.

There is also a bunch of fun songs, including the brilliantly-executed "Rhymefest vs Big Daddy Kane." Using the classic, "Warm It Up Kane," Rhymefest seamlessly weaves his battle rhymes in with those of Kane, and it provides for what is not a bad battle at all (I'd like to actually watch them go at it lyrically). "Party 4 Free" is a nice lyrically journey through a variety of topics, especially with lines like, "Happy Chanukah, I be styling in my yarmulke / On my Yahama, 150 on the speedometer," "Happy Graduation, congratulations / I heard you got a job at a gas station." This song really brings "Brand New" to mind, with Fest on a happier tip, just rhyming away and making fun left and right.

Overall, Rhymefst produces a solid performance with this cut. On his blog, he gave himself 4.5 out of 5 stars; on that scale, I think I have to give it a solid 3.5. In terms of his work to date, I think he is definitely on bar with much of it, but works like "Man In The Mirror" and "Blue Collar" just seem to stand out a bit more in terms of cohesion and entertainment. But this couldn't have been a better appetizer for "El Che," which promises to be his strongest performance to date. Assuming it is ever released.

If you haven't already, download the mixtape for free from the Rhymefest Store.

(Twittering) and ... Latituding?

2009-04-11T10:41:00.000-07:00

Some of you may remember a post I wrote last October about Twitter, and how I thought it was a service where it tracked your phone and people could see exactly where you were at that very moment, on a map of some kind. When I realized that Twitter did NOT offer this service, I said it was kinda lame, but it also had a certain charm, and, somehow, I would keep using it.

Well, I certainly am a Twitterer to the fullest (though, instead of "Twittering," I refer to it as "Tweeting" [since that is somehow more acceptable?]). I freaking love Twitter for what it is. But that feature I thought it provided? The following of people on a map?

Well, folks, it's here. Meet Google Latitude.

Unfortunately, I cannot use the service, since I do not have a phone that qualifies. But it is EXACTLY what I thought Twitter did.

More than anything, I believe it will be the vehicle for myriad hilarious pranks. Or stalking. But even if I could use it, I don't know about having others "follow" me, in the literally sense. Like I wrote in October, literally following someone just rubs me the wrong way. Too Big Brother for my taste (though I doubt the actual Big Brother needs this service to triangulate my position at any time).

But, who knows? Maybe, just like Twitter, it could grow on me. Until I get a phone that works with it, I'll have to rely on you, faithful reader, to try the service with your phone and see if you like it.

Howlandwood Classics

2009-04-05T12:04:00.000-07:00

What I just found on YouTube is a little scary. But it makes me think.

Every year, after the end of the national championship game in NCAA men's basketball, the winning team is shown its "One Shining Moment," a montage of clips of the winning team from the six wins it had during that year's NCAA tournament. The clips include audio from those moments, but the primary sound is background music - a song called "One Shining Moment" (hence the name of the montage).

This song is known by most sports fans as the NCAA basketball song, and coaches even reference it in their pep talks to their players before going into the final games (I just heard Tom Izzo refer to it before Michigan State's Elite Eight game). The reason the song fits so well, I surmise, is because it was written specifically about the NCAA tournament, rather than just being an atypical inspirational song.

It first aired along with the montage after the 1987 championship, and though it initially was a venue to show remarkable clips from all the games in the tournament, the focus has increasingly centered on the winning team. Now, every championship team is graced with its own "One Shining Moment," most of which you can find on YouTube now.

The current version is sung by the late, great Luther Vandross, and taken with clips of the winning team completing various razzle-dazzle stunts throughout the tournament, the montage is usually corny beyond corny, clearly a product of the late 80s/early 90s, with the music's piano-driven melody, synth horns and tones, as well as a catchy-as-all-hell hook.

But as lame as it is, it's tradition, and it is always fun to watch (especially if you were on/supporting that winning team [I only can speculate that the first option is true, since I've not actually been on the roster of an NCAA championship team]). I always look forward to seeing how they edit the clips together into a video scrapbook, for fans to always look back upon with pride.

As many know, I was extremely disappointed last year, when 24 minutes into UCLA's Final Four game, I realized that I wouldn't be watching a "One Shining Moment" for the Bruins two days later.

But, a year later now, I realize that I can.

One loyal fan, not content to see UCLA's season finish without the soulful sounds of Mr. Vandross's voice gracing clips of James Keefe and Russell Westbrook, decided to take it upon himself to give UCLA its own "One Shining Moment" for the 2008 tournament. I cannot say that I was not a little perturbed to watch it - it seemed like a desperate plea for recognition for a team with so much promise knocked to the side by bad in-game coaching.

But, as scary as this revisionist history may seem, it is still fun to watch. Mata with the trophy held high. James Keefe making amazing plays against Western Kentucky. Russell Westbrook's slam dunk at the end of regulation against Texas A&M. All of it only whets my appetite for the real thing. Now, more than even, do I want UCLA to rebuild and make a run to the title.

So here's hoping. But, even if it is next season or in 20 more, I can feel it in my bones - rather than just overzealous fans of Howlandwood, CBS will one day put together another montage for UCLA.

For now, enjoy.

(Freak, freak ... freak) tha security guards!

2009-03-18T08:23:00.000-07:00

I haven't played with many toys in a while.

Okay, that's a lie, but I haven't played with this one yet. The PlayMobil Security Check Point.

I know. Wow. Ridiculous. But how ridiculous? To the point of awesomeness? Possibly. Though I find the awesomeness in the fact that this toy is ridiculous. People actually sat down and thought this would be a good toy. It reminds me of a new commercial by Amtrak, where kids act out the frustrations of flying and driving, while another kid with a Lionel train set has a wondrous time playing while his miniature locomotive.

But the best part of this toy is certainly not the toy itself. It is most certainly the reactions to this toy; specifically, the reactions of Amazon users on the toy's Amazon page. Beyond classic.

A great excerpt:

There's no brown figure for little Josh to profile, taser, and detain? Where are all the frightened plastic Heartlanders pointing at the brown figure as they whisper "terrorist?" Where are the hippy couple figures being denied boarding passes? And shouldn't someone be forcing a mother figure to drink her own breast milk?

Maybe the best line out of them all:

Thank you Playmobil for allowing me to teach my 5-year old the importance of recognizing what a failing bureaucracy in a ever growing fascist state looks like.

I stand corrected:

Today my kids can live in the dorms, attend class, and try to learn in an atmosphere that is not oppressive. However, if something like this, in some probative way, helped to keep either one of them alive, I'd favor them getting regular full cavity searches. ... Our constitution tries to protect life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Is the relative order of those words an accident? Life comes first.

via CyberJoke3000

UPDATE (8:45 a.m.): PlayMobil has really outdone itself. Not only is this toy available, but also a Police Checkpoint and a SWAT "Mega Set 5-in-1." LEGO, don't sleep!

I'm 'bout to kick some Tricky Daddy next poetry night

2009-03-15T22:28:00.000-07:00

Video, as promised. I got a hold of the DVD for the event, and ripped all of the videos to put on YouTube, so you can press the left and right buttons on the YouTube embed to see the rest. Big shout out to Ryan Ikeda for the DVD, and to Kalinda Price and the whole BSU crew for the event.

Faithful readers, give it to me straight - how bad is my second-line screw up? Bad? Or did you think I integrated the silence well?

I am going to edit my poem to improve. Zac, we need to have that poetry talk, and maybe hit up some open mics. Same invite to the rest of y'all. Let's get it!

They try to battle me with sandals and capris on?

2009-02-27T08:05:00.000-08:00

I forgot how much I really enjoy writing poetry. I notice that, without a deadline of some sort for poetry (as in, a poem needs to be ready at a certain point for a contest, performance, etc.), I fail to produce much. But when I do have something compelling me to write and memorize, I really can get into the work.

That's what happened yesterday, when I entered the Los Altos High School Black Student Union Poetry Competition. It was a mini-Slam of sorts. Very mini. Only three students entered. And three staff, including yours truly. The staff and students were ranked separately, so I don't know where I ranked overall (maybe low, since two of the student poem KILLED it), but I placed second among staff entrants.

The reason I was second and my apparent brilliance was overlooked? Well, Mike Smith's poem was pretty damn good (and, between you and me, my former English teacher, Galen Rosenberg, also put it down in a poem that really made me think).

But I think part of my act lost points because of one fatal flaw: I forgot the second line of the poem.

Yep. Just completely blanked. I had been working on it near constantly for the past few days, and I just completely missed the second line. I got there and hit silence that I tried to parlay into part of the performance (about 10 seconds worth, and convincingly, as I learned from some audience members later). But man, if I had nailed it, I would have been golden.

In any case, it was still a lot of fun. That was the first time I'd be really nervous in a while. The kind of nervous the shoots through your spine and freezes your arms into perpetual shaking. Seriously, it was the truth.

Of course, I practiced. I didn't want to look all played out by having a piece of paper in front of me. I wanted to recite it from heart. Which meansssssssssss...

...I (screwed) up the second line.

Yeah. I know. Terrible. I fell into a 10-second silence where I moved about the stage (i.e. the front of the classroom), giving stern looks to audience members to emphasize the mood. Finally, I could recall the third line, and from there forward, I killed it. But it was that slip-up that cost me the championship. I placed second to Mr. Smith, who gave a solid performance with "Achievement Gap," and in front of Mr. Rosenberg, who I thought should have won for his reading of "Blood Brothers." Overall, a solid day of poetry for all.

And, just because I can't leave you hanging after all this talk, you get to read my poem. Enjoy, and please give feedback! I might want to use it in another Slam one day.

Redefinition
Derek Lipkin

Characterized by absence of light
Lacking hue and brightness
Absorbing light without reflecting any of the rays composing it
Involved or enveloped in darkness
Soiled or stained with dirt
Gloomy, pessimistic, dismal
Deliberate, harmful, inexcusable
Marked by ruin or desolation
Without any moral light or goodness

False

Of, pertaining to, or belonging to an ethnic group characterized by dark skin pigmentation
Pertaining specifically to the dark-skinned peoples of Africa, Oceania and Australia
The Negros, Negritos, Papuans, Melanesians and Australian aborigines
The dark-skinned, light-skinned, mixed-race peoples of the Americas, Europe, Asia, The World
The doctors, lawyers, athletes, teachers, pilots, musicians, innovators
The style-makers, beat-breakers, brass-section, cool-birthing jazzmasters
Marked by creativity and ingenuity
Hopeful, Elated, Thoughtful
The original people of the Earth, from whom we all descend
Involved in bringing light to the world
Absorbing light and reflecting any and all of the rays composing it to enlighten us all

Noun, adjective, state of being, symbol of pride

True

Black

A video of the event was shot, so I'll see if I can hook that up. I might make a recording of it, too. Man, the possibilities are endless! I love it. Expect a bit more of this sort of artistic production in the future.

With a verse so sick I took Theraflu

2009-02-12T09:59:00.000-08:00

I just had to do a post in the vein of my friend Zac's quote blog. Mostly because this one was just priceless.

Sara: is terrible the new sick?
oh, you mean actually bad

Classic.

At long last

2009-01-26T12:26:00.001-08:00

Correction appended

It is remarkable how many things are already better under our new president. The latest news on the President's move to impose new regulations on the auto industry is just more icing on an already delicious cake.

In case you haven't paid too much attention to all that Obama has done, here's a short list of what he is responsible for already:

Calling for the closure of the detention facility at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba
Tightening limits on interrogation tactics by CIA officers
Ordering plans to withdraw combat forces from Iraq
Removing the Mexico City Policy (reinstated in 2001 by Bush), which places financing restrictions on groups that promote or provide abortion overseas
Reversing Bush’s order of applying restrictions on embryonic stem cell research

If anyone was worried that the great "change" would not come, this is proof positive that it is already here.

A quote from The Onion's January 22 American Voices sums it up nicely:

Finally, a president who understands technology. Oh, and human rights. And climate change, foreign policy, and the Constitution.

Finally, indeed.

The great white hope

2009-01-13T12:02:00.000-08:00

If you only get to see only one small arthouse play in San Francisco between January 29 and February 15, it better be Angry Black White Boy.

Holy smokes is this play amazing. No wonder it is almost always sold out (or that might be because the show only holds about 80 people at a time. but no biggie).

I really cannot speak highly enough of this play. Even Sara loved every minute of it. That's how incredible it was.

I don't want to talk too much about the story, because all the moments in this play are so juicy that you'll just have to wait and see. But I can talk about the way it is presented. I've never seen a play like this. The way it integrates music and dance is unlike anything I've seen before.

And you don't have to take my word for it (though you should). This play has been touted as one of the best in the city by all the papers in the city. There is really no end to the praise it receives.

But there is just one important thing to remember when going into this show, something that will be reiterated by the protagonist. It is...

"White people aren't evil, but evil is white people." - Macon Detornay

Coming to a t-shirt near you! Man, I love this show. Now I have to read the book.

Found is when your (t-shirts) are a test of time

2009-01-07T14:14:00.000-08:00

My goodness, how satisfying is it to find something you were looking for?

My search for this infamous shirt is over. I thought I had lost the trail, but my bloodhound-like search ability has finally hit paydirt.

The way I found it was through a breakthrough in my search tactics. I was usually searching for the ampersand (&), but I was only finding shirts that literally had only an ampersand. Not very thrilling, though there were some good ones (like a big ampersand with the words "then I woke up" in the corner).

So I went back to the drawing board. What was I missing? What could be the extra word to make this a successful search?
I started to think about the shirts. The ones I had seen were very comical, even sarcastic in their use of the design. I figure, on a basic level, they were funny.

So I tried "t-shirt ampersand funny." I didn't expect much. That probably made the surprise all the more sweet. As I scroll down, I see nothing, until I see the second to last link to a t-shirt site. As soon as I saw the description, only one thing came to mind.

Gold.

Not only is it a hilarious shirt, but it makes reference to the original, done by a design company called Experimental Jetset. So I search the name, and bingo.

Not only do I find a link to a story on the original shirt, but I find another link on that site to T-shirtism, which is all about how the design has been remade by others to include different names and groups, many comedic and all awesome.

I don't think I could have asked for more, short of receiving a shirt with the design out of thin air.
But I'm still interested in what you all in the world would put on the shirt.

I think it would be awesome for one that ended with "then I found $20."

Hey yo, what's the name of this (t-shirt)?*

2009-01-06T13:18:00.001-08:00

So I have a dilemma.

Have you ever seen those shirts, with the ampersands and the black text? You know, the ones that usually reference a crew or a group of some sort? Here's an example:

Leonardo&
Donatello&
Raphael&
Michelangelo.

I like those shirts. I think they are cool, and I'd like to make one (maybe even the example above, which I just thought of).

But what does it come from? I thought it was a hip-hop thing, but maybe it is something else? I cannot find a Web site with that design anywhere. I know there is a name for it, or someone's name is attached to it. I'd like to know.

So if you know, let me know. Because otherwise I might have to continue this wild goose chase and waste a few hours trying to find the answer on Google. And we all know that is simply unacceptable.

P.S. If you have a funny idea for a shirt like that, post it up. I will be making my own at some point, but I have no idea what it will be yet. Ninja Turtles are leading the pack, though.

* Zulu! Zulu! (Anyone?)

Turn (on) the radio (sometimes)

2008-12-25T10:44:00.000-08:00

Two nights ago, the most amazing thing happened. I was driving my two friends to the Caltrain station here in Mountain View, and given that I had left my iPod on our dining table, I decided to flip on the radio, and tuned to my second-most favorite station to hate, KMEL 106.1 (the top spot is reserved for that oh-so-reprehensible Wild 94.9).

The song that was playing was one that I hadn't heard, and seemed more well-suited to The Quiet Storm or KBLX, the jazz/R&B station here in the Bay Area. But then, the song switched to the next one. My volume was turned down a bit, but I could hear something so distinct that I started to lean forward.

Were those 9th Wonder drums?

Was that a mouse-ified sample looping?

Was that ... MURS?!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. It was. One of my favorite emcees was getting radio play on the second-most commercially garbage radio station in the greater metropolitan area.

Yes, it was around 10:30 p.m. at night, so not really the highest of traffic times for this station.

But it gave me hope for the future. If Murs can get spins at 10:30 p.m., maybe soon, that will be 9:30 p.m. Then another hour. Then drive-time. Then noontime. Then on Big Boy's nationally-syndicated morning show.

Then, every time I turn on 106.1, I'll be hearing Murs' voice. But not always on his songs. It will be his songs, and some guest spots. So many guest spots. Every time I hear the radio I hear a Murs guest spot. Then station IDs by Murs. Then commercials by Murs.

Then I will grow to despise Murs, just simply for his radio-based omnipresence. You might ask, where did D Lip come up with such a progression of events?

Well, minus the whole "being one of my favorite emcees," this goes for Lil Wayne. Seriously. Try this. Get in your car and turn on the radio to your local hip-hop station. Count the number of Lil Wayne songs or appearances you hear. Then, arrive at your destination, do your business, get back into your car and tune to the same station. Then, repeat the first steps again. I will be surprised if you hear Lil Wayne less than three times on your trip.

I rode down to the laundromat, just two minutes away, to get quarters, and I heard him on a T-Pain track and a Mya(?) track. Terrifying, I know.

Something tells me this won't be happening to Murs, now that I think about it.

Paid in full

2008-12-03T21:56:00.000-08:00

At the moment, I have 13,050 songs on my iPod. I have several albums waiting on my table to be copied into my system.

Yeah, I know.

I've maybe listened to 10 percent of those songs. That's probably a liberal estimate, but it gives you an idea of how massive the amounts of music I have downloaded over the years. I credit most of the collection to my fellow Bruins at UCLA, where I used a nifty (and now defunct) program called MyTunes Redux to download hundreds upon thousands of songs from people on my local dorm network, all at speeds you wish you could get from your Internet provider (me especially, since Google's free WiFi, while free, leaves much bandwidth to be desired).

But ever since I moved out of De Neve Plaza and into apartments, where there is little to no shared connectivity to any network, immediate access to other iTunes accounts has been lost. Not to mention that, once everyone upgraded to iTunes 7 and higher, the ability for MyTunes Redux to download from other clients was blocked by some update Apple put into the new version.

So I was stuck. At this point, I had a few options. I could a) start downloading off of sites like LimeWire, Kazaa, etc., b) start using torrent downloads, or c) start actually buying my music.

The third of these options certainly did not seem appetizing at first. I mean, to get all the music I did get at UCLA, it would have taken quite a few dollars. Serious cash, which I was not really willing to spend.

But my Weltenschaung changed upon my first visit to Amoeba Records in Los Angeles. It is at this Mecca of record stores that I discovered the religion of used music. Perusing discount bins got me some of the best music I own. I would find rarities, nestled between way too many copies of Jibbs and Hush, waiting for a hip-hop head to snatch it up and enjoy its greatness. Nothing beats the feeling of knowing you will listen to an album for the rest of your life, and you only spent $2 on it (yes, "The Magnificent" from DJ Jazzy Jeff is that good).

Ever since that moment of track transcendence, I have sworn off illegal downloads. Now, there are certainly other means of acquiring music I use that are in legally gray areas (such as the legality of copying music from CDs legally checked out of libraries - one of the best methods for acquiring popular [and really random] music). But now I buy, and more and more, I have been buying new over used, at least for more of the music that is newly released.

So what does this new habit do to my stacks? Well, this year has been a pretty good year for music, and it has brought my total to $447.78 (yes, I keep a running Excel spreadsheet with this information). Editor's Note: This total deserves an "and counting" at the end, since I've yet to buy the new Q-Tip, along with a few other gems. Seems kinda high? For the amount of music that has been added to my library, it was very well spent.

I pride myself on maintaining a comprehensive and respectable music collection. Now I can do it with a little more confidence that I am supporting those artists who make my library so great.

I shall, proceed, to rock the tikes...

2008-11-19T06:56:00.000-08:00

Via MetalLungies. I just had to re-post this video for you homies who have not seen it.

Now, if they could only appear on Blue's Clues...

What do you all make of this? Does this go against that Pitchfork review I cited in my last post? Have The Roots really gone soft?

I guess things really do fall apart. Or, they are coming together in a cosmically-unknownable fashion.

Y'all know the legendary

2008-11-16T14:29:00.000-08:00

It's time for a hip-hop news update.

Big news from The Roots. I cannot believe that they would become a house band for Jimmy Fallon on The Late Late Show. Doesn't that seem odd? I cannot imagine The Roots filling the same position as The Max Weinberg 7. Can you?

I wonder about the implications it would have for The Roots' image. As it stands now, I agree with the statement by Nate Patrin in his review of "Rising Down": It's gotten to the point where I can't even imagine the Roots being soft anymore. Seriously. With three straight albums where political overtones are so present, can their rep hold up while ?uestlove gives drum-cues for laughter to Jimmy Fallon's questionable comedic talent? (Actually, I take that back. Have you heard "The Bathroom Wall?" Classic. No sarcasm. So sincerious.)

I'll be interested to see the results of this social experiment. It seems like the wrong fit for The Roots as they stand. It would make more sense for the old Roots, the ones whose "organic hip-hop jazz" and "bass check 1, 2" made it a fun group to hear, with their seemingly-unbeatable cohesion between traditional jazz music and new-school hip-hop braggadocio and energy. The new Roots? The ones I saw about a month ago, with their darker, more brooding sensibility? I'll be interested to see the approach they take. I trust ?uestlove to do justice to their presence in some manner, but I wonder: will it work out in the long term?

Remember the name

2008-11-09T17:57:00.000-08:00

The New York Times has this gem of a story on how how the name "Barack," along with the rest of the Obama given names, are being given to newborns left and right.

Kenya is ground zero for the trend:

From Election Day through Saturday afternoon, 43 children born at the Nyanza Provincial Hospital in Kisumu were named after the Obamas, with 23 boys given the first and middle name Barack Obama and 20 girls named Michelle Obama.

I gotta say, it is kind of a cool thought to think that, 15 years down the line, high schools around the nation will have a bunch of Baracks, and it won't even be novel or anything. People will know why that kid has that name, won't have any hang-ups about it (depending on the region of the country we are discussing), and I think it is good for the American public. General exposure to things foreign (names especially) can bring about more understanding, in my opinion.

But I think the people of the world who choose Barack for the newest members of their families are missing a big opportunity. I know that giving your kid Barack is popular, and seems appropriate to commemorate Obama in the most humbling of manners, but I think parents need to be taking it all a step further. Why not go back to the roots of the name, to the native tongue, and find another name? It is a more indirect reference to the impact of Obama, and it could also serve to introduce a whole new generation of names into our society.

I mean, if you want to stay Kenyan, what about "Jimiyu," or "Lusala," or even "Chiumbo?" Or take it back to your own roots, if not Kenyan. Like Obama mentions in the article, his name is from the same root as Baruch, the Hebrew name for "one who is blessed." So bam, Jews get an option. I'm sure Arabs have a similar name based on the root, and Italians, and Irish, so on and so forth.

If parents take it back to the roots, they not only shout-out the connection Obama has with the roots, but they shout-out the importance of going back to the roots at all, rather than going with the popularity of a name.

But I won't lie. You might be introduced to Barack Lipkin within the next 10 years or so. Or maybe Baruch, to take my own advice. Either way, my kid's nickname would be B-Rock, so that you can be sure of.

A sign of things to come?

2008-11-04T17:15:00.000-08:00

Check out this New York Times map:

Texas to Obama? Awesome. This IS going to be a historic election.

Callin' out ... we gon' make this ish happen right here, right now

2008-10-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

Sara (center) and Narges get schooled on calling New Mexicans.

Barack Obama is the one man that can get me to enter telemarketing.

What does he have me sell? Barack Obama - his image, his future, his hope. And while I initially did it somewhat begrudgingly, I overcame and became comfortable with the sale.

It certainly was not easy to start. Telemarketing is high on the pet peeves list for most people (myself included, so cold calling registered voters to get information was not so comforting at first.

But after I started to get a feel for how to speak on the phone and whatnot, my fears began to recede. So far, I've gone three times with Sara to our local Obama campaign chapter ("Silicon Valley for Obama") and got to work calling New Mexicans and Indianians, making 170 calls across the nation. Sara is somewhere close to 1,000. And though I was apprehensive at first, her encouragement got me to the phone-bank and got me to care more about this election.

Our goal: to ascertain whether these registered voters (a list of which is apparently simple to obtain) were supporting Obama, and, if so, could we get these people to vote early in person. A pretty smart goal, considering big problems with disenfranchisement in this country, and a goal that can give Obama a big boost, according to my idol, Jeff Chang (or, should I say, Jeff "Change" [I've been waiting so long to use that one]).

If Obama can get people to the polls early, where there are no lines and less chance of people being improperly redirected or refused, then that means more votes total, which means more electoral votes from a key swing state.

A pretty great cause, right? I agree. In fact, I agree so much so that I want to do something to help make it a reality.

But, at first, it was really tough for me to, in good conscience, pick up a phone and make political calls to random citizens. Like I mentioned, my beef with phone banking was simply that I dislike receiving calls of any sort from solicitors or political groups myself. Therefore, I would be asking for my face to appear next to Webster's definition of hypocrisy if I were to take it up as a habit.

But after my first outing, I was okay. No one chewed me out over the phone. No crazy McCain supporters screamed on the other end. Nothing wild at all. So I went again. And, again, it wasn't as bad. I got through to a few Obama supporters, and their enthusiasm seeped through my receiver palpably. It felt good to contact them, and by the third time, when I even got one Indian man to become interested in early voting, I thought to myself that I made a mistake by not doing more. I no longer felt the residual fear of enraging those citizens on the other end of the line, because I was selling something these people already wanted - a vote for Obama, only made easier. It was a sale I was confident I could make.

In addition, this was not a job for robo-calls. It was not a smear campaign, and we were encouraged not to even mention McCain or Palin by name (I don't think all the phone-bankers adhered to that rule). We don't even try to speak with McCain supporters. We might try to get some undecided voters, and direct them to the Web site for more information, but it is all for the Obama supporters. Once we get a supporter the information he or she wants, we get to ring a little bell on the desks, as a signal to the other callers that hope is alive and well.

So I'll be going out at least one more time to keep doing my part. I encourage you, kind reader, to consider doing the same. Just an hour can be helpful. I didn't think so at first, but then I realized it wasn't just the people on the other end who were being helped. It was my own life that was benefiting, as well.

Photo courtesy of the Silicon Valley for Obama Flickr site. Or, actually, just taken, really. I didn't ask for or receive any courtesy. Don't get me wrong - there was no discourtesy or anything. It was more of a situation where I figured posting Obama supporters anywhere is good press. So, you know, it's not a big deal or anything. Plus, it is my girlfriend and one of my best friends in the photos, so, I mean, do I really need permission?

I'm like the news/I always gotta bring the live shhhhhhh...

2008-10-19T10:55:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, I finally saw a live show from the group that has always been touted as one of the best live show performers ever: The Legendary Roots Crew (also know as The Roots, for all those out there lacking technical hip-hop knowledge).

I gotta say, I was impressed. It's funny to think that The Roots are a hip-hop group; I feel like any Joe or Josephine off the street who might slip by security to see what all the commotion was about might think s/he walked into a rock concert. And I mean heavy rock. The way they pump out the energy is just so intense and high-energy, and their music itself is harsh on the ears (but not in a bad way - at least, according to me). Even when they play hits off their acclaimed "organic hip-hop jazz" record, Do You Want More?!!!??!, they parlay it into a high-wattage rock sound, seamlessly flowing from Roots song to cover song and back again.*

But, while watching them, as well as Gym Class Heroes, which performed just before The Roots, I realized an important revelation: I love live shows.

It seems like a silly and obvious realization, but I really do love live shows, and I don't necessarily think that is the standard for most people. Live shows can be tough. This Roots show was enough for most people to last a decade worth of live shows.

And don't get it twisted - I certainly have attended my fair share of live shows in the past. But this year has been something of a re-introduction to the live set. Twice I've been to The Independent in San Francisco (first to see People Under The Stairs, and second to see Murs along with Kidz In The Hall), and now The Roots. Each show had its own distinct feel, its own energy and action. And even though the styles were vastly different (PUTS putting on a dance party, Murs having a hilarious conversation while staying real and Roots just rocking bigger than I could have ever expected), I love the community that is established at live shows. It is something you certainly can never get out of a CD, no matter how hard you try, I think.

So my suggestion to you, dear reader, and the rest of the world? Go out and see live shows! I think the other reason that it is somewhat satisfying to hit up these shows is to be supporting the artist in the best way. Yes, record sales are important, but in terms of the bottle line, I don't think most of the groups I like are eating off SoundScans alone. The show is where the real money gets made. So it's nice to support, to let these artists know I'm down with their music.

As long as they rock it out well. If the show is weak, I don't know, man. I suppose I haven't attended a weak show in recent memory, so I don't know what my reaction would be. I'll cross that bridge when(/if, considering all the artists I like are the bomb) I get there.

If you are interested in attending a show with the world-famous D Lip and Crew, get ready! You next opportunity will be at The Warfield in San Francisco, on November 23 at 7:30 p.m., to see the most unorthodox orthodox you have ever seen - Matisyahu! See Ticketmaster for more information.

*You can get something of a feel for the performance aspects by watching The Roots perform at UCLA in the 2008 JazzReggae Festival (unfortunately, I did not attend UCLA at the time, meaning I've missed two possible free live Roots shows in my life). I see that Quanye already made his mark with a comment on the page (or someone else out there uses the alias "fakerthanfake").

How I learned to stop worrying about the microwave

2008-10-17T17:51:00.001-07:00

Before Thursday, never had I been the cause of a mass evacuation. Mostly because a) I'm not threatening, b) I'm not radioactive and c) I generally don't try to cause events that may cause evacuations. It's not really a principle I live by, but more of a general understanding with the world. I don't start evacuations, and that's that.

Well, Thursday will forever be known as the day I evacuated Los Altos High School.

Yeah, I know.

It's ridiculous.

Keep reading.

It was an incident I will never be able to shake, at least when talking with Los Altos High folk. It was the result of my bone-headed decision to place a hot dog in a microwave for 3 minutes.

But, really, it's so much more. That's why I have posted the letter I sent out to the entire staff at Los Altos. It has all the details. Enjoy.

-----Original Message-----
From: Lipkin, Derek
Sent: Thu 10/16/2008 1:58 PM
To: Everyone in Los Altos High School
Subject: My deepest apologies

Hello everyone,

You may have been wondering who you would like to clobber as a result of having your lunch interrupted by frequencies of sound most usually designed for torture at Guantanamo Bay.

Unfortunately, though I wish it was not so, it was me. I suppose you all would like an explanation. I have furnished one below.

Being that I have largely sustained myself during lunch on turkey sandwiches and microwavable Stouffer's meals, I decided this morning to bring a meal of a decidedly different nature: a Hebrew National hot dog. My plan was to microwave the hot dog in my microwave-safe Gladware container. The plan seemed full-proof. The variables were under control. Everything would help set the stage for what I thought would be a nice change of pace. What a fateful change it would turn out to be.

As I collected the dog and place it into the microwave, I made the decision I now regret: I set the timer for 3 minutes. I know. You just read that and scoffed/cursed/exclaimed in extreme disbelief. It was far too long for a hot dog, and probably most other foods. But even though it was as bone-headed a move as they come, it was an honest mistake. I believed it to be an appropriate setting, and I am sorry that such a notion ever crossed into my consciousness.

Of course, I know now that it was the wrong setting. I first noticed small plumes seeping out from the microwave door as I walked to check it, and immediately stopped the cooking by opening the door. As it flew open, a small cloud rose quickly into the room, and I could see the damage: the oil from the hot dog had boiled, to the point of destroying my Gladware by burning a hole through the bottom. The smell of burned meat singed my senses. I winced in disbelief.

I looked behind me with horror as my heart leapt into my throat. I realized what would happen as the smoke carried further. Then, I felt it. The pain we all felt. A scream that rips through your cerebral, inducing both Broca's and Wernicke's aphasias within seconds.

Trust me. Many lessons have been learned today. I am very, very sorry to each and every one of you and your students. It was a moment of ineptitude I look forward to avoiding in my every future encounter with microwaves or other cooking devices later on in life. It is a moment I am sure none of the present company of the incident will ever forgot, nor will they let me forget it, nor do I expect any mercy from the rest of the school.

Even so, know that I come away from this incident a better person - someone more aware of his actions, more concerned with consequences, more cautious with every concern presented.

Thank you for your time and understanding. Again, my deepest apologies.

Best regards,
Derek Lipkin

Amazing, huh? It was completely surreal. I simply could not be believe that I, Derek Michael Lipkin, a law-abiding, evolution-fearing man of 22 years, could set into motion a chain of events that would have close to 2,000 people rushing for a large field of grass.

But I guess that's life.

For your extended reading pleasure, I've included some of the responses I received from staff members after they read my email, in order of reception. Even if they all thought of me as a numbskull, many thought I was a pretty good (and funny) writer. Side question: do you all agree?

Dude….no worries it has happened to me and to others. It is OK.

LOL!!! Just by the efforts so said, you are most forgiven….

Way to go Lipkin!!!!!

Too cute Derek

You need some lunch? Hot dogs are usually about 1 (ONE) minute. LOL

What did you end up having for lunch?

O man... you are NEVER going to live this one down! I'm home recuperating from surgery, but this is just funny Derek. Good job buddy. It will all be okay.
That is why we have fire alarms. Good to know they work...even when we don't want them to!

Ay Derek! My deepest apologies to you [...] what a bummer, I’m glad you are learning to cook for yourself though [...] no worries

It was worth the fire drill -- the piercing alarm sound and the interruption of my work -- to be able to read your “column”. Great!

You’re a wonderful writer! Hope you’ve aired everything out as burned plastic can be toxic.

Feel free to write us anytime. That was good.

I could only hope for your writing ability, not so much on your cooking ability though! Apology accepted.

Sorry, but funny to read...by the way, any item such as a hot dog (or other item with a skin) should be pierced before microwaving.

Best use of “everyone in los altos” ever.

Lesson learned: Do not eat hot dogs. They are very very bad for you! Any way, do not feel bad, my story is much more horrible than yours. Twelve years ago, my brother-in-law put a hot dog bun in the microwave for 5 minutes (he thought it was 50 seconds). The thing burned, the alarm went off, the fire truck came, found the bun on fire from the inside and charred outside like a lava rock! And he was babysitting my two small kids! I still haven’t forgiven him!!!

No worries, trust me I had a very similar experience not too long ago when I burned the popcorn in the micro!! That very same cloud filling the room prompting me to act like a lunatic frantically jumping up and down waving paper in the air hoping to disperse the smoke before the alarm went off!!! I died a thousand deaths thinking of having to face Wynne and others when I would have to fess up! Thank goodness, that scenario did not materialize! Whew! But for sure, I am much more careful now with that setting. You are forgiven and guess what it made us all aware that we (both students and teachers) are not clear as to which class to meet out on the soccer field. Now, I know and can tell all my students so the next time we will all be a little less panicked and more prepared and it’s all thanks to you! So there, a silver lining in that cloud! Yay! Have a good one and salads are a good safe bet. Just kidding.

I am so sorry for your misfortune and trust that you are feeling better. I very much enjoyed your entertaining tale; you have a career as a novelist!

Totally hysterical, Derek. I laughed out loud in a room by myself…

Well, we can all laugh about this in a couple of days.

Best apology letter I’ve read in ages. You are a NATURAL writer!! (sorry your hot dog met such an awful fate….)

Omg, lmao. Excellent apology

Gee, I missed the ear piercing noises and people commotion.

I gotta say, your email brought a smile to my face. Don’t worry about it. It happens to the best of us. I’m not sure if you ever watch “The Office”, but if you do, this totally reminds me of the episode where Ryan burns the cheese pita in the toaster oven! Sorry if the connection is lost on you.

Sounds to me like you have another career path as a comedy writer. Saturday Night needs you!

Thanks for the email and for starting my day off with a smile[.]

I'm sure I'll be less famous in a week or two. Until then, you know I'll be soaking it up. That's just how I do.

Best. Genetic. Theory. Ever.

2008-10-11T08:46:00.001-07:00

From a Q&A on HipHopDX.com with Kool Keith:

DX: So in a few generations we're just gonna be an ugly, ugly race?
Kool Keith: Oh man, we're gonna have fucking gorillas on earth. We're gonna have dinosaurs walking around. That's how fucking deep I am. Fuck rap. Humans gonna turn into dinosaurs. Ugly people gonna breed with ugly people and jealousy and hate and you're gonna see a lot of ugly motherfuckers walking around mad, evil, ready to try to hurt you. That's why I gotta be on defense. I gotta walk around with my fuckin' biochemical suit on.

Amazing. Simply amazing.

Read the whole article if you want more. Props to Quanye for sharing this on his Google Reader.

Twittering and...?*

2008-10-05T13:00:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure I understand why Twitter exists.

If you don't know what Twitter is, it is a social networking site. Well - sorta. You see, it's basically a Facebook status. But ... that's it. Seriously. You can see for yourself on mine. Just a page with that person's current thoughts on some situation or where they are or just random junk. No more, no less.

The concept was quite disappointing when I found out about exactly what it does. I mean, Facebook already fills the position Twitter tries to occupy, and with a great deal more functionality. And it was quite a let-down after I found out my initial conception of the site was completely wrong.

I first heard about the site through a few advertisements I found either in emails or on random sites. The ads would say that you can "follow" someone through Twitter. When I read that, I took it to mean literally following that person's movements, by way of mobile phone tracking.

And that seemed kinda awesome. I mean, if you could just see where your friends were all the time, you could call them up if they were in the neighborhood or tell them about good places to eat around that person's location. Upon further consideration, the idea of tracking people progressively deteriorated in my mind as I realized that far too many negative results can come from such a function, and my incredulity regarding such a site grew until I decided I would sign up and see what all the hype was really about.

And then, I discovered the truth - that "following" is basically "friending" and there is no function that offers your followers even the chance at triangulating your exact position. Just statuses. No more, no less.

Naturally, I was disappointed with this discovery. I mean, who do they think they are fooling? This already exists! It just seemed silly. But as I played around with it more, it began to grow on me, and I found that Twitter has a few redeeming qualities. First, like I said, it is completely about the status, which, while solitary in focus, has a certain charm to it. I enjoy the ability to text my status to my site. Facebook has the same function, so I cannot justifiably give it brownie points for such a function, but there is something about texting my information to Twitter that I like better than texting my information to Facebook. Additionally, this sole focus on the status, while seemingly odd, makes for a cleaner setup. No background noise or applications or wall posts. Just you and your thoughts. No more, no less.

But it might just be that, as Facebook becomes more commercial and popular and common, Twitter stands as an increasingly attractive alternative to me. It is a way of standing apart from the mob and have what seems like that bit of exclusivity that Facebook used to have, when only a handful of university students had the pleasure of poking one another.

Overall, Twitter isn't bad. It just seems out of place. It is trying to do something that is already done (or, at the very least, was stolen from it and done better), and it is not clear what else will become of it. But, for some reason, I'll keep using it.

But, rest assured, I will never refer to my posts on that site as "Twittering." That makes it sound both irrelevant and annoying, and I can't handle both.

* "Super Troopers," anyone?

The Renegades of Funk

2008-09-30T08:56:00.000-07:00

As much as I would like to, I'm going to avoid turning this blog into a hip-hop blog. For a variety of reasons, I think it best for me not to opine on hip-hop until I can be a bit firmer in my convictions regarding hip-hop history (hence, the reason I am making my way through Can't Stop Won't Stop, along with a few other books).

But a few weeks ago, I submitted my application to an important hip-hop organization: The Universal Zulu Nation.

I know. Hold your applause.

Started by Afrika Bambaataa in the late 1970s as a reaction to the Bronx youth gangs, the Zulu Nation was a culture-oriented group that espoused peace on the streets and in the lives of its members. Reading about it in Jeff Chang's historical masterpiece, I decided to seek out the online Zulu Nation to learn more.

That is when I found the application on the official Zulu Nation Web site. At first, it seemed silly to apply. But then I realized that, in many ways, I already represent what the organization represents:

We both believe "the Bible has been tampered with and must be reinterpreted."
We both believe "there should be history books based on true facts of what every race has contributed to the civilization of Human Beings."
We both believe "in Power, Education in truth, Freedom, Justice, Equality, Work for the people and the upliftment of the people."

So I decided to take a few minutes to fill out the application and see if I was cut out for the Nation. Of course, if you scroll down the application, you'll notice it is 30 questions long, with questions that require more than one-sentence anwswers. All in all, it took me a good week to finish up all of my thoughts, using free time during work to type up responses.

Unfortunately, I have yet to receive a reply regarding my application, nor have I received replies regarding my follow-up emails that ask to confirm receipt of my application. Given that the Web site looks as if it has not be updated in a minute, I doubt I ever will hear back.

But I wonder if an application is really all that necessary for me to consider myself a member of the Universal Zulu Nation. There are no fees or requirements outside adhering to the beliefs of the Zulu Nation, so is there anything preventing me from being a Zulu? I suppose one problem is that I do not have "Planet Rock" on my iPod, but I'll pick it up next time I'm out at the record shop.

In the meantime, I'll keep waiting for the call from Afrika, and, if that wasn't enough, I'll be looking for an application to the Nation of Gods and Earths. Though I'm not sure if I will qualify as a member of the 5 percent of the Earth's poor, righteous teachers, or as as a member of the 85 percent of the Earth's intellectually deaf, dumb and blind. I'm hoping the latter.

Doo-be-doo-be-doodle

2008-09-18T22:06:00.000-07:00

Many times, during my LSAT class, I will be doing well on a set of problems, so given that I can finish the problems before time is up, I'll use the extra time to doodle.

It is quite the fun activity, I must admit. I think most people do it mindlessly, which I did at first, but as I doodled, I realized my artistic skills were actually much better than I had previously estimated.

I have to admit that I've never been big on doodling. At UCLA, I was always taking notes on my laptop, and when I did have pencil and paper, I usually was in close proximity to the instructor, meaning doodling might be a little disrespectful. But every now and again I would indulge in few minutes of free drawing.

But here are a few examples of my work. This first one was my most recent piece, where I just drew what came to mind. I've noticed that Barack Obama always ends up on my page (as you may notice, I failed in reproducing John McCain's likeness). I also drew a few other items I saw around me, as well an homage to one of the greatest subway graf writers of all time, Dondi White (I thought I came pretty darn close):

On two other occasions, after I had realized I had more drawing talent that I had previously considered, I decided to use the LSAT questions as prompts for vignettes. The first is a depiction of two problems that came from reading comprehension sections, the first about certain insects developing wings based on temperatures in their habitats, and the second about ocean dumping and its effects on dolphin populations:

The next was from what is called a logic game, where a set of rules are established and a diagram is necessary to determine the answers to all of the questions in a certain section. Many times, the rules will delineate that certain variables can be placed within the same group or appear in the same order (in this case, two climbers could not be in the same duo). These types of problems were insanely hard for me to start, but with the acquisition of the new techniques from my class, I have been much stronger, missing few questions regularly. I figure this is just an extension of my understanding:

Do you have doodles from recent meetings or events? I'd like to see other works, if you have a scanner available. I'd also be interested to learn more about doodling, to see if doodles represent a sort of Freudian form of expression. I'm sure all the symbols and ideas I choose to draw are not completely determined by my self-conscious. I just hope no one would look at them and tell me they represent my mom. I'm pretty sure I don't have an Oedipus complex. Mostly, anyway.

Meetings with meter

2008-09-10T09:58:00.000-07:00

About two weeks ago, Zac explained to me a form of poetry he writes while sitting in meetings at work. Quite brilliant, actually, when you consider how, as a form of expression, it can spin the proverbial straw of inanity into gold. It is something like found poetry, but captured in real-time by the poet rather than being translated from an already-printed piece. It brings a relatively boring moment into a state of transcendance, really.

Well, this morning I had a meeting. It was one where my attention was not entirely important, so I decided to try it. Below is the result. It is currently untitled.

Maybe this is all old news
I can help you at some point
Exchange of information
The physiological piece going on here
There's some really physiological or biological
Depends on what that doctor finds

Not too shabby, I think. And pretty fun to write. I have another meeting today, so I may update this post with another creation.

But I encourage you and everyone else to try it some time, and see what comes out. Just make sure you do not get caught. I didn't, but I would bet it would be odd to explain that you might not have been entirely focused on the "important" topics at hand during your meeting.